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Subject:happy superbowl sunday
Time:02:04 pm
its amazing how my horoscope is always right.

nothings gonna cause me distress...........................

crazy how you make me high when im sober.
fabulous date fri and saturday =)
but no im not ur girlfriend mister.


blah blah blah. that how im feeling today. im def going back to bed.
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Time:03:12 pm
"people change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together"

still searchin for that stregnth within.

its my sitas bday tomorrow. and we will party like its 1999. im excited for a hectic week. and a job inerview on friday!
mami finna get paaaaaaaaaaaaaid! CA- CCHHHHINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGG!!!
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Time:12:38 pm
is the sweetest taste if siiin; the more you get, the more you want

"you never leave where you are untill you decide where you'd rather be.

got me buzzin all over you & you don't even have a clue.

aint got a motor boat but i could float your boat [;

you take your time & you do your crime Well you made your bed;
I'm in mine

Just as long as we know what's good on both ends <3.

my plan is to forgive and forget: forgive myself for being stupid and forget you ever existed :D
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Time:01:59 am
i respect the minds power over the body. although sometimes, you gotta just let loose and be free. let freedom ring. let it ring in your house and in ur school and in your car and in all your decisions. but dont let it get too far. not so far that it defines you with changes. not so far that it molds u into something uncertain and unwholesome. not so far that it makes you loose your class. because after all ladies, thats really all we have.


and, while we are on the subject of class... let it be marked. november 10th, the day i finally got my freaking nose pierced.
Photobucket


and in the wee early hours of november 14th, the day i finally had enough.
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Time:08:36 pm
"you can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over analyzing a situation trying to put the pieces together, justifying what would've or could've happened..OR you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on-TUPAC :)"

men fear most what they cannot see.what u really fear its inside you... theres no turning back. deep down u may still be that same great kid u used to be but it's not who u are underneath it's what you do that defines you ...i respect the minds power over the body.its why i do what i do


PhotobucketPhotobucket
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Subject:my mental break down
Time:04:20 pm
you know that calmness right before a big storm? when the sky is dark and gray and it looks like 8 pm but its only 3? When the wind is blow so hard that u feel it push against your body and you have to tighten up all your muscles to keep yourself from falling over? then all of a sudden, the sky explodes. And the rain pours out like a sea of madness. and waves of water flow down street as if enraged from being held back so long. Every rain drop trying to fall down before the other, until theres no way you could step out for 5 seconds without getting completely soaked. now imagine that soothing explotion of rain to be made up of fire instead of water. and the second it is let loose it spreads over acres and acreas of land, igniting itself the more it spreads. and you can't control it. thats the anxiety inside me. thats the rage that i feel when i behave the way i do. falling hard like that rain, but with the sting and destruction of fire blazing down your back and on ur skin til your head kinda goes blank. and you loose any control over thinking before you speak, running walking or jumping, and certainly any control of throwing any emotion but anger out the window..
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Subject:what ever happened to my happy place?
Time:02:07 pm
from what i realized last night... ive changed. from an elegant high class women to a crazy careless about the world raging bitch... just kidding. but yea, ive changed... changed from caring so much abotu what ppl think so only pleasing myself, and letting everything i want to say come out of my mouth. ive changed to a different kind of girl. The kind that needs entertainment in every breaths she takes. CHanged into all smiles all day, messy rooms, random music, and someone unhealthy relationships. things is i was loving every second of it. and although i been having fun, i miss that pretty girl in pearls n high heels. i miss the perfect hair and ironed dresses. i miss the illusions that ppl are generally good. i miss seeing the world as a beautiful place, and expecting the best in ppl. cuz now... no matter how much i try, i can only expect the worst. maybe cuz i keep giving my all and my heart keeps getting stepped on. maybe cuz girls are bitches and whores/ maybe cuz u cant really trust anyone with ur feelings anymore. maybe im thinking too much again, and not taking enough deep breathes/ Please someone!!!!! show me how to smile and laugh again. i Promise to make ur days shine =)
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Subject:another day another chapter
Time:03:24 pm
wat is it about u that has me stuck in this empty box? prancing around lonely in this far for solid state. what is it in my mind that has me comparing women, and kisses, and love mkaing. what is it about the way the sun sets that reminds me of you. when i have watched so many sunsets. and made much better much more passionate love. why is it that the sun rises and sets and still i am stuck. stuck in yesterday. stuck in last month. stuck in all the emptiness thats past already. wat is it about last week n this week that hasn't let me throw u from my heart and vanish thoughts of u from my head. ive been walking to streets of questions forever. ive been analyzing too much... stoping to think waaay too frequently. and it had to take a massive break down about my job for my to see that its not you at all that has me twisted... its me. That i have too much time on my hands to be satisfied with anything i have. and that i have too much life to live to worry about all these little things. so im pushing u to the side. im opening my books again. im expanding my mind. n next time i turn to tears, its will be from loosing myself in dacne and art and enough music to entertain and orchestra for lifetimes. im putting up my pictures again. im rearraging lifestyles, meeting new people. not the kinds i wanna meet, the kinds that crowd the world... with rage, and laugher, and creativity, and most importantly with differences. because that is all i need right now
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Subject:just beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.... just beeee
Time:05:16 pm
4th of july pool party at the surfcomber was the greatest freaking event ever. i will not miss anoher year even if i am hospitalized.

on another note. i was very skeptical about the weekend and it turned out to be the most amazing weekend ive had in months. thanks papi, for making it so wonderful. i love u times infinity and beyond. didnt get to enjoy space as much as i could have. but the music... even while i passed out mid club on a random white couch, was fucking phenomenal. loved every second of fire works, late nights, dancing wet n dry. smoking like there was oxygen n ciggarettes n sleeping every night cuddled up next to you.

too bad this morning had to start a messy week again. all i can do, is count down to the next one, without wondering, and without expectations, and with nothing but a smile from ear to ear.


download tiesto bitches. just be.



my little music man. i am in love with you. and i know ur heart has found its way back to me. but darling... when will you?



i celebrated having been single for a month this weekend with the ex. and it showed me that i could be me or be with you. i cant do both. but at least now i know which one i want enough to fight for it properly.

and by the way.. i am now part of the crazy college grove nights. when before i hated it. lol. welcome to the good life. mami tell me whats good. y i only gotta prob when u in the hood?? welcome to the good liiiiiiiiiiiiife. y are some men all about their money. and some men not enough about their money. but u need the ones that are n u want the ones that aren't. its cuz the ones in the money game are bllinded by the green. n the ones without it got nothing but love to give u,. n in this crazy expensive world, love isent all we need.







but smile... cuz music will alway sbe the answer.
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Time:04:58 pm
absence makes the heart grow fonder
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[icon] parTAY!
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